(Originally Published on: Jan 11, 2020 at 13:25)

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The Times I Do Not Write

The Energy Of Writing

Soul Stories

 

The “Struggle” WithIn

Too much coming at once… Too many sensations… Perceptions… Intuitions… Emotions… Feelings… Energies… Beauty… Ideas…

No time…

Having to do the “physical world things” that occupy so much of my “physical time” and my “physical body energy” …

My “physical body energy” is so much different than my Real Energy!!! … My Real Energy is Endless… Infinite… Quantum… Multidimensional…

And it is painful… It is very painful! … It is painful to the point of feeling that my physical body is totally sick… And the struggle within myself… And the feeling of disappointment…

I block it… I struggle to block it…

The Flow

And the many times I have totally let it flow… It is so beautiful!!! … So absolutely Beautiful!!!! … Those times I have let it flow are the most absolutely beautiful times of my life!!!

The “Struggle”

But then the struggle… Struggling with my physical life and how to sustain my world… The six years I let it all totally flow got to the point of almost having to live “under a bridge” …

The Flow

But it was so Absolutely Beautiful!!! … And so Absolutely Worth It!!!

The more I let it flow, the more it flows… So intensely… So… Not sure how to describe it… All at once… From everywhere… From the WithinMe outwards… From outside me inwards… From every direction and to every direction at the same time… Through every pore… From and to and in every atom, every molecule, every cell… Of me and of the Universe at the same time…

Multidimensional??? …

Yes, in a way, but I feel that term falls “short” to describe what happens WithinMe…

Multi-directional? … All-encompassing? … None of those terms are fully accurate either…

And the more it flows, the more it flows… Exponentially at first… And then it comes a point where to call it “exponential” is not enough… An explosion of Beauty… Of things that come to me… That flow from WithinMe… Inside of me…

The “Multidimensionality”

And I start writing about something… And more flows and more flows… And at some point I realize that what is flowing now is more about a different topic… A different idea… And I start another “writing” and then flow and write on both…

And more flows and more flows… And I realize it is yet a different topic… A different idea… And a different one… And a different one…

The Intensity

And the build up… And the almost unbearable surges of so many things within my body… Something not too many bodies are able to withhold and withstand yet… I know it because of everything I have lived WithinMe these past 7 years… Because of how everything was in me before and how it is now… Because of all the processes I have gone through…

The “Push and Pull”

And at any point of me letting it all flow just a few minutes, I see I have so many different groups of papers I started to write on… Or if I am at the stage of sitting at a computer… So many different documents open!!!

And then I realize that what I so intensely started to write is not that “important” anymore… The “energies” clearly pull me more in a different direction… And a different one… And a different one…

But within me I know and clearly feel that I also want and need and have to continue to write that other one…

And the other one…

And the other one…

The “Struggle”

And the struggle WithinMe… The violent struggle within… And the paralysis… The disappointment… And the Knowing that time is near…

And there is nothing I want to do more in my life than that: let it all flow… Endlessly…

The Inevitable

And then the inevitable comes… I have to stop… I have to tend to the many things from the physical world I am responsible for… And it is not just me here… I am responsible for the support and the life of others… And I do it with Infinite Love…

Just me…

In the middle…

Or within…

It-ALL…

 

∞ ∞ ∞

From my book: Soul Kaleidoscopes (Vol 1, 4/26/2020

“It is ALL inside of you!!! … Look Within YourSelf!!!”

Soul T Alma

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